"i thought i knew who you were until one day you were like i dont know if i love you anymore so go shove that up your ass with the dick you been fucking since i left. bitch why would i call you i only call my friends and if you are not one of my friends what makes you think i would call you you where never my friend in the first place and you aint my friend now so if you finally come to your senses one day and realize this than you will be the smartest person in orlando. bye dont call dont write dont im me because the next time i will bitch you out peace."
just thought that was kinda comical.life has been pretty amusing lately. heather and i have been together non-stop. my mom fucking called her and told her she wanted her daughter back. that was on monday. i didnt talk to my mom the whole nite and we didnt even really talk about it until last nite. and we got into a huge fight about it. she called my uncle for his advice and he finally made her realize what i've been telling her for the past month : she's scared b/c she knows i'm growing up and sooner than later i'll be gone. and she's really scared about that and she doesn't wanna let me do anything. she promised me she would try to be more understanding. but i don't know, she says that now but i don't really know if things will change. i can't drive anywhere that is more than 10 miles away. i can't even drive to the fucking beach. and she fucking won't let me see one of my favorite bands EVER [glassjaw] next tuesday. so yeah, when it's good for HER she'll finally start letting me go. i explained to her that i finally have a car now that i'm 18 and this is the last summer i really have to LIVE like a teenager. b/c next summer i'll be in fullsail and we have no summer break or anything. so this is the last few months i have before i have to start actually being responsible. she's TRYING to understand and i feel really bad about it, but i just want to fucking get away from here so bad. i want to move out but i can't b/c there's no way i'd be stable enough. and i love my mom and i love living here sometimes, but it's just when she does psycho shit like call my best friend to tell her that she wants her daughter back, it just drives me away. heather's mom thinks we hang out too much. our parents never used to care. we used to hang out the same amount and they never really cared. but both of our parents are scared cuz we're gonna be gone soon. if my mom wasn't so damn strict for 17 years of my life, than when i turned 18 she may have been more prepared for my "FUCK THIS IM DOING WHAT I WANT" attitude. and maybe if she hadn't been so overprotective i wouldn't have this attitude. but apparently that's not how it worked out. and that's fine, but i'm telling her, WARNING her that i'm going to have fun this summer if it fucking kills me. hahah maybe i shouldn't say that. that's one of those lines that you hear in a movie and then the person dies. so yeah i don't wanna die. but anywho, hopefully she won't be so psycho now. but i don't know. maybe i'm just getting my hopes up. but i told her there's no way that i'm going to "CUT-DOWN" seeing my best friend. noway in hell.
i've also come to the conclusion that i'm giving up guys & relationships in general. sucks huh? yeah oh well. i have a haircut today and then i'm off to heather's house. tonight we're going to a candle party tonight that her sister is throwing. and my mom gave me a blank check to buy some candles. i think it's cuz she feels bad about what she did. i won't spend more than 30 bucks tho. i can't wait to go to disney with heather, coley, and melissa. it should be fun fun shit. gosh fucking shit i wanted to see glassjaw so fucking much. i hate that shit. oh well. all i know is that i'm not going to be alone that nite b/c i'll fucking cry my eyes out all damn nite. i'll get over it.
i love lifer. what a great fucking band. so i think i'm done with this long ass post. i have to go clean, do laundrey and take a shower. toodles.